“Oh my gosh, you’re going to eat *all* of that?” “Those would look so cute on you if you had a bigger butt.” “Doesn’t her body just make you want to die?” “She is totally body goals. I’m not stopping until I look like that.”

Chances are, you have had a conversation where one of your friends said something like this. Maybe you’re the friend who said it. The next time your convo takes a turn like this, pump the brakes.

We all know that the media is rough on women, but we need to make sure that we are not surrounded by women who are just as harmful.

Self-love is a journey. Most people do not wake up one day thinking, “I’m fabulous,” and actually mean it. In fact, some of the women who we most admire are the first to admit they fall down some days, but they also surround themselves with ladies who want to see them win.

You need to do the same. This does not mean ditch every single friend who said something that isn’t body-posi. They need your light! It does mean get yourself a squad of people who see you as beautiful.

Get friends who want you to be healthy and happy, but would never shame you for eating fries…and a milkshake. Be the person who celebrates yourself and others.

Sometimes, that means spending less time with people who can’t support your goals. Really, that’s okay. Trees and hair grow because we trim them; relationships are the same.

So, shine on today. Choose the friends who make you feel special. Only say things that make you feel beautiful. Take the first steps towards self-love that you can spread to others. It may not happen right away, but as Queen Blair Waldorf once said, “They say Rome wasn’t built in a day, yet what a difference a day makes.”