The internet is a scary place—especially when you find a viral how-to butt contouring video that has almost 300,000 views. I find this highly ironic for many reasons so I’ll just dig right into it. Having a saggy, not perfectly lifted, fake tilted Kim Kardashian like butt is really the end of the world for a lot of people. And since we’re already contouring our cheeks, noses, lips, foreheads, knees, ears and elbows, it was only a matter of time before the trend moved to our backside.
I do wonder why you would ever even want to do this for the obvious reasons. Besides trying to be an Instagram model, the only time any normal woman would use this is when going to the beach or swimming. And unless you use extra-strength tattoo removal makeup or some potion that I don’t know of, I’m sure it will come off the minute you get wet. Or maybe there are women out there that obsessed with looking ‘perfect’ that they won’t even get in the pool because keeping the butt contouring intact is more important. I feel sorry for those people.
This video has caused so many internet searches on how to achieve the perfect tint, how to even out your cheeks with makeup, how to remove your stretch marks with 5 layers that are ‘guaranteed’ to stay on all day and the most popular search obviously being how to make your butt look bigger. Quite frankly, I’ve had enough. And it’s a terrible double standard to see naturally curvy women criticized for their curves and round, shapely butts when people are out here drawing them on with jumbo crayons. Watch the video below to witness the craziness. Or, you know, skip it.