Designers need to start making reasonable pockets for women a priority.

Let’s look at the facts on the ground in my boyfriend’s closet. All the pants are loose-fitting and comfy. They have real pockets on both sides. They’re not nonsense slim fit jean side zip pockets that can fit a bobby pin and hair tie if you squirt some baby oil inside and force them in there. They’re pockets a man can sink a wallet, some keys, an iPhone and piece of fruit in.

Women are told on the daily to use a series of helpful tips, tricks and stuff they can buy in order to create illusions. Buy the stuff, and legs will appear longer, slimmer, and shinier, and the world will be a more sensible place to life in. I can remember fashion authority to loaded Strong Island cougars Michael Kors saying that every woman he knows immediately cuts pockets out of their pants because they think they make them look thicker.

So if you take your notes from Mike, we should all traipse around and be deathly afraid of wide belts or any other high-level threats that make legs look fuller because that would be way worse than Rabies. And that’s the thinking that has seduced people into snip snipping away their pockets. Or we just choose bottoms with pockets that lay flat to avoid problematic legs. Meanwhile, dudes can easily cross their legs and access all their most important stuff? Why are we not living life in the lap of deluxe pocket luxury right now? Maybe Mr. Kors should be trusted because he loves airplanes and aviators, but what about some functional pockets for people who pretend to be adults?

In the long sartorial road facing curvier women, take our lengthy list of reasonable requests and add actual pockets. While we’re on it, it’s worth noting that women who are slimmer need pockets just as much — because women’s brands just don’t deliver the kind of roomy pockets the way men’s stuff does. The problem is that there’s a true pocket gap.

Better pockets would simplify a woman’s life, but most designers only make pants with small ones when they could even just hide the seams. Violeta’s baggy trousers or Mynt 1792 pleat front culottes and surplus pants all have practical pockets with room for your stuff, but most pants force women to do the fun archeological dig through their bags every time they need something. It seems like there’s this assumption that women can carry their life in bags, and that deep pockets are a masculine style move.

Body activists are screaming loudly and effectively for more trim fitting stuff that hugs their bodies. Still, we also need pants and dresses that let us slip just SOME of our clutter into a pocket.

The world would move faster if women weren’t fishing around for their wallets in a panicky moment on public transportation. Yes we could wear a bag, and not just a big bag because evidently people still say tiny camera bags are reserved for slimmer women, but we need more pants with the deep kind of pockets you see on cargo pants and overalls have that nifty Swedish workman outfit vibe to it look cool. Our clothes deserve just as much of an emphasis on function than designers assume we want on “looking good.”

Give us the pockets, and we’ll fill it with thick wads of cash we throw your way.