Fat Tax Doesn't Work

Here’s a new from one from the weight police.

Johnson & Johnson, Goetzel and Vitality are proposing a tax on employees who are “overweight.” At a Davos conference, the company pitched everyone on this super appealing idea – they are not selling thin mints or wrapping paper. They’re hawking wellness and the limitless moneymaking possibilities of a slimmer staff for the companies who opt in.

Here’s their plan: publicly traded companies can pay, who else – Johnson and Johnson or Vitality–for the bargain price of one hundred and fifty bones per employee so that they then can then screen the workers and their spouses for their weight, their cholesterol, blood values etc. etc. etc.

Under this awesome plan, sincerely the MOST helpful humans ever would report everyone’s health and make it public. Wise in the ways of the human heart, Johnson & Johnson has many SO MANY things to teach everyone. They feel that employees at slimmer weights would be better employees, and shareholders would prefer them to lose weight, or at the very least, a comprehensive wellness program to help employees slim down. Here’s a study proving that companies don’t actually make more bank. In fact, offices should throw out company-wide weight loss initiatives along with their Aerosmith cassette tapes.

Even better, Vitality reported inches lost in one instance of this program we know of, but with their own employees, workers actually became 2% more “overweight,” by the standards they used.

Using company time to line up to weigh in and get a health screen for work DOES sound more fun than a slip and slide. We think it’s a really nice way for us to find out just how much invasion of privacy people will endure to make world a better place so we’re sure this would prove to be an awesome life choice for employers. Or people could just manage their own health. NAHHHH.

Ashley Hoffman