J.Lo Booty Is Just a Butt

Jennifer Lopez‘s butt is always in style, and it has (surprise!) been all up in the headlines recently. Just yesterday, the media exploded because her pants split. As USA Today put it, “This catsuit was no match for J.Lo’s Booty.” Today, E Online gave us this classic write up about J.Lo’s booty having the powers to “hypnotize” people. Her butt has been a powerful player in the entertainment industry and our lives for decades, and I’m honestly half-surprised it hasn’t gotten its own movie deal yet (starring Jennifer Lawrence as J.Lo, of course, because J.Law = J.Lo = #diversity).

I’m a ’90s kid. During the “Jenny From the Block” hype, it was basically engrained in my mind that J.Lo was her booty, and it was part of the reason why people shilled out money for her C.D.’s (obviously false). I grew up with people spitting out phrases like “She’s got an a$$ like J.Lo” and “Look at that J.Lo booty.” Some kids in high school even said I had a J.Lo booty, to which I would sometimes sassily reply, “Um.. this is an Eliza booty. THANKS.”

A “J.Lo booty” doesn’t actually exist. It’s just a butt belonging to a drop dead gorgeous diva. Similarly, a “Nicki Minaj butt” is also just a butt. Butts are butts, y’all, and it’s a weird concept that we label or try to peg similarly shaped butts to their celebrity doppelgängers or prop celebrity butts up on a pedestal and tell the public how they, too, can get the J.Lo booty.

It’s kind of amazing that one butt could be that iconic that VH1 scolded the Kardashian-drunk public for forgetting that J.Lo was the “original best butt” last summer and Young Thug rapped about it in “Old English.” Three 6 Mafia was “lookin’ for dem J.Lo booties” back in 2005, and, let’s be real, they probably still are. But it really is just a butt. A great-looking one…BUT, still just a butt.

I get the hype, though. We see so few curves in the film and music industries that, whenever there’s a celebrity who has some notable ones and is proud enough of them to write a song called “Booty,” we have to cling on to that. Health bloggers have to devote time to discussing the “anatomy of the J.Lo booty.” It’s one of the few curvy butts we know. Hence why the “J.Lo booty” topic has been trending since uh… 1997 when she twirled in Selena.

But it’s 2016, and it’s time to squash the idea that J.Lo’s beautiful bottom is a label that we throw on anyone with some hips. It’s exhausted, objectifying, and annoying. J.Lo’s a beautiful creature who has a lot more going for her than just her rear end, though we’re really glad to have that since curves in Hollywood are so scarce.

On that note, can we get more curvy bods up in this place so J.Lo and her butt can take a well-deserved rest somewhere tropical? Thanks.

Eliza Dillard