We’re obsessed with this coat so let’s go with a quiz on this one.

Did your relatives who you don’t relate to buy you things…yes? Good.

Did they fail to understand what a unique style maven you are…yes? Good.

Did the smart ones among them give you a VISA card, a cash amount ranging from one quarter to a Benjamin Franklin…or a bitcoin….yes? Good.

Was the apron they gave you so that you could ease into your appropriate domestic role returnable? Yes? Good.

Return everything, stockpile all your cash money, and consider getting yourself this $170 coat because you deserve it.

Texturally, it’s working for us because it’s three panels of yes. It’s just too glam for words. It’s lined with satin, it’s oversized, and has a soft hand. You’ll look like three different kinds of carpet covered in strawberry milkshake. Thank you ASOS and ASOS Curve, for making these glorious soft shades of pink available sizes 4 through 24 so most people can wear something that makes them look like the rarest of ponies. (Duh, it’s faux.)