Winter’s here, which means it’s time to start with the cold weather prep like figuring out who’s first on your snowball-to-the-face list and how to look hot despite the fact that your tears are frozen to your face.
While cold weather’s necessities like cashmere-wool blend turtlenecks and long johns might seem limiting as far as how fashionable you can be, the type of winter hat you choose (or don’t choose) to wear on your head can really make a statement. Read on to discover what your preferred way of protecting your cranium from the winter elements says about you.
Slouchy Beanies
For the cool kids.
Slouchy beanies are the preferred chilly weather accessory of cool people. They’re a way to tell the world that you’re here, but you’re too important to actually be here. Hipster wannabes, poets at their coffee shop day jobs, and anyone named Zane is likely to rock a casual, unfitted beanie this winter.
Fitted Beanies
Stylish but not in your face
The cousin of the slouchy beanies. These hats are favored by women who want to be trendy without making it too obvious that they follow Vogue on Twitter. Reasons to opt for a slouchy beanie: you’re worried that your head shape isn’t quite right for a slouched beanie, or Harry from Home Alone 2 is your style icon.
Furry Caps
What nice fur you have.
You’re not afraid to make a statement. You like to be the center of attention, and you enjoy people comparing you to an endangered species. You’re also not afraid of PETA. So, props to you.
Ear Muffs
You’ve clearly got your life in order.
If you own ear muffs, you’re either from Alaska, a pre-teen, or you seriously have your life together. A furry pair of ear muffs, aside from making you look like Chanel Number 3 on Scream Queens, has ‘subtle sophistication’ and ‘adulting’ written all over it, so props to you.
A Baseball Cap
Okay, we all know baseball caps do nothing against the winter winds, so if you’re wearing one in a Polar Vortex, you’re not fooling anyone into thinking your ears aren’t about to fall off. We all know your game. Like the slouchy beanie, you’re telling the world that you’re too cool to care about winter, except slouchy beanie people are actually warm. Your Jacket Hood
Where’s Clem ?! ???????????????????????????????????? You can find me at my favorite #Brunch neighborhood spot at @sunshinecobk for some #biscuitsandgravy and #cheesygrits ! #foodie #brunch #cold #winterstyle #ootd #weekend #brooklyn #furry #sunshinecobk #eeeeeats #food #breakfast #yummy #clemeats #bonjourclem A photo posted by Clémentine Desseaux (@bonjourclem) on
You have commitment issues. You’ve lost one too many winter hats at happy hour, so you’re better off with a two-for-one jacket/head protector combo.
Nothing at all
You’re forgetful. You looked out the window, saw 4 feet of snow, and still forgot to throw something on your head before leaving the house. Your parka is one of those hoodless ones, so you’re SOL. You’re lucky you remembered to tie your shoes this morning.
