Gwyneth Paltrow out-gooped herself this year with her holiday gift guide. Overall, there were some reasonably priced legit items, but a lot of it was a face-palm a second. Anyway, provided you’re loaded and in the top 1%, you’re in luck yet again! Paltrow knows exactly what all the upper tax bracket people want, from a Mah-jong set from fashion haus Hermes for $46,000 to some very fancy toilet paper because the 1% is entitled to only the most primo wipes in town. There’s even a silver $244 toothpaste squeezer for when you’re out of toothpaste. These are the ten wildest picks, so let’s jump right in with a crowd pleaser.
1. $2,300 playing cards “gilded for a uniquely luxurious look and feel.”
2. This is a $3,990 canvas and leather Saint Laurent piece of luggage to carry all their fine imported goods in.
3. This here is a skull covered in flowers and the price is only available upon request.
4. This personalized stamp for $45 so that they can put their names on more of their things.
5. This silk satin pajama set is nearly $1,000 and it looks very silky, so when they’re tired from shopping so damn much, they can get some rest.
6. These dumbbells cost $125,000 because working out with anything less is for the poors. It’s like going for the gold without the Olympic training, skills, or anything related to merit.
7. This is a trip to outerspace because for them, even if the world is just not enough and they’re out of touch with it, they should still be riding around attached to a flotation device and gazing at it beneath them. (Neiman Marcus has always done stuff like this, and it was always weird.)
8. This is a premium coffee maker because they are entitled to only the best morning sips. Price available upon request.
9. This is the “gold standard of toilet paper” from Joseph’s Toiletries — a set for $956, which Gwyneth recommended with more certainty than the situation warranted.
10. This is an Hermes Mah-Jong set for $46,000.
