It might have been interesting if Rihanna rolled up to her own Diamond Ball charity event and did anything sub par, but we just can’t quit Rihsus worship because she continues to slay for our favorite cause: more Rihanna. Here are five things she did right, and you can too at your next holiday fete.

1. With her voluminous satin robe the texture of whipped cream draped under her arms, and with berry-kissed lips, she paused, and looked back at the photographer with the peepers of a wee baby fawn.

2. She greeted Jada Pinkett Smith with warmth, so much warmth.

3. She fed a child a diamond, and that child was named Majesty, and she was dressed in a glittery dress and glittery shoes, because in the royal family of Rihanna’s Diamond Ball, a child shall be named Majesty when it is fitting.

4. She made beige important, and made you think it was probably champagne, and presided over the event like a leopard-like goddess.

5. She felt modest for a mere moment, and she was probably smelling of clean linens and jam, and she laughed.