The fun, totally wearable, and real talk: problematic Victoria’s Secret “fashion” show airs tonight.
Tonight on the ice capades show, the Angels will look as elated as humanly possible when you’re dressing as a bunch of snow dwelling-butterfly nymph hybrids. Do you need one of their faux fur hats and matching faux fur sandals with a glitter cape for winter? Perhaps no. That’s because this show is obviously fantasy, and nothing helps you stomach the ridiculousness better than alcoholic beverages.
With that in mind, we’ve put together a little drinking game for the festivities. We wish the lingerie was a bit more lustworthy, Ashley Graham were there, or you know, Victoria’s Secret didn’t discriminate against larger bra-wearing customers with higher prices, but that’s the way the diamonds get encrusted onto boobs or whatever.
Here, we present the rules of RunwayRiot’s Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show drinking game. Break out the RumChata.
Take a teeny tiny dainty sip if:
Someone blows a kiss in your direction.
Behati Prinsloo wears something that kind of looks like men’s athletic undies.
You think Joan Smalls’ look owes a lot to Salma Hayek in Dusk Till Dawn.
You find yourself admiring Sara Sampaio’s rocket props.
Split a tall glass of something with a friend if:
The camera catches a model looking slightly bored.
If the Weeknd and shoulder pads happen at the same time.
You can identify and classify Adriana Lima’s nail art.
Martha Hunt doesn’t pass out in her corset and you respect it.
Someone wears something that your little relative also wore at a Christmas pageant about butterflies.
Take a good long gulp if:
You think a cape in the shape of a flower looks like ladyparts and three people agree with you.
Someone flips their hair unnecessarily.
Someone wears something that’s remarkably a lot like clothing.
Someone makes the peace sign.
Something political happens.
Gigi Hadid is hip-hop culture personified.
Selena Gomez touches someone.
Someone snaps while they try to dance.
Joan Smalls impersonates a circus performer.
Down the Whole Bottle and Break it Over Your Head Out of Sheer Joy If:
Kendall Jenner’s mother throws Kendall Jenner’s training bra into the crowd and takes a selfie.
Chrissy Teigen tweets something hilarious about the show.
Gigi Hadid throws up some gang signs.
Karlie Kloss and Taylor Swift come out at the end and admit they are the same person.
Someone wearing black wings goes full on Black Swan: red eyes, death stare, the whole nine yards.