God bless us everyone. Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner’s Topshop holiday collection for everyone is here. Except it’s only for most of everyone. Scratch that. Only good little women who wear up to a size 12.
You know how it goes. When you’re relevant sisters designing a celebrity collection so that like you, women can bear their midriffs throughout the winter months, you sometimes forget to check that straight-size privilege.
Now for the collection. In order to want in on these threads, you’d have to look past an oddly designed black cutout dress, surfer-y separates, a metallic skirt suitable for a ’60s groupie, and everything these sisters are about in general. BUT there ARE a few ideal looking things that would make us whoop and dance if they came in every size. There’s a delicious looking blue faux coat at a decent price, a dope bomber jacket, and a versatile high-neck jumpsuit we’d love to see everyone in. Alas, no dice.
Attention K and K. We’ve been so good this year. We even gave up our immortal love of doing selfies at inopportune moments to show off our very best funeral attire. You totally should have invited more people to your holiday party.
And now a holiday rejection poem to you both. What lip enlargement entrepreneur or heart-shaped haired goddess created these? What fair ladies loathe to try to wear them? What struggle to find a Kardashian-approved look for all the Who’s in Whoville? On Kendall! On Kylie! On Khloe and Kanye! Over the river and through the woods in Klan designs to grandmother’s house we cannot go because Kendall didn’t bother to give us smurf couture in our sizes.
Having said all of this, Kendall we just can’t quit you. Because last holiday season, you gave us the greatest gift of all. This off the rails, haunting, terrifying, intimate Christmas video with your mom, and it’s the gift that will never stop giving.