The path to self-love is undeniably the best journey anyone can take in their life. Discovering who I was and how to love myself properly has been one of the best decisions I took in my early 20’s. I came to realize that the best relationship I can have in my life is the one I have with myself, however, easier said than done. I’m talking about being completely confident with who YOU ARE: comfortable when alone and happy with your body.
Growing up in a society where there’s judgment and stereotypes finding ourselves can be a difficult task. For example, I asked myself too often “Where do I belong?” If I dress and act like this I belong to this group, if I rebel I go to another group. Society and cultural morality make you think you need to belong somewhere in order to feel accepted. It’s definitely confusing, but I realized I was putting too much pressure on myself, I was being too harsh judging my actions and for what? To feel accepted by others. What about accepting me?
“ If you don’t love yourself, you cannot love others. If you have no compassion for yourself then you are not able of developing compassion for others.” Dalai Lama
It was a complete wake-up call and I decided to take the reigns of my OWN LIFE. I started reading about the subject, doing yoga, meditation and finding time to quiet my mind alone and know whom I was. That’s why I want to share with you what I learned in those moments and why I consider everyone should take a few hours for themselves every week to clarify where you stand.
Be compassionate –We often tend to self-criticize ourselves if we don’t meet our high standards. We go in an emotional roller coaster ride whose end result is often insecurity and anxiety. So what’s the alternative? Develop self- compassion. Be kind and gentle. Allow yourself to realize that you aren’t perfect. Self-compassion offers the same benefits as high self-esteem, such as less anxiety and depression and greater happiness.
Create the right energy – Love your body, love your mind, love your whole mechanism, your whole organism. Don’t try to repress. Do things that lift you up. Do you like running? Listening to music? Feel better talking with good friends or family? Keep doing whatever makes you smile! Create an unbeatable energy that will make you glow. DO YOU!
Be alone – Finding oneself, one finds the meaning of life, the significance of life, the joy of life, and the splendor of life. Finding oneself is the greatest finding in a man’s life, and this finding is possible only when you are alone. Don’t avoid your company. It’s time to unplug. Realize YOU ARE UNIQUE. When you are absolute happy in your aloneness, when you don’t need the other at all – then you are capable of love.
Remember, it’s a path – Apply all the 3 steps above and come to a realization that it’s a path. Takes time and is a habit that needs to be constant. You need to make time to check in. Get in tune with yourself. Ask the right questions “Am I happy here?” “How do I feel lately?” “Are you giving your best at work and relationships?”
If you try these steps for a few hours a week I assure you it will increase your happiness, your awareness in life situations and you completely will feel in control of you and the things in life you can or can’t change. Personal time is ‘time’ well spent. It’s precious and is more valuable because you are getting to know yourself. We can learn to feel good about ourselves not because we’re special, but because we’re human beings who are worthy of love.