“Not one drop of my self-worth depends on your acceptance of me” -Quincy Jones.
I love this quote; it’s a quote I wished I had heard in my teens. Your worth and validity as a person has absolutely nothing to do with someone else’s opinion of you. When we overcome our anxieties and self-doubts, the narratives we’ve insanely chosen to tell ourselves, we stop giving power to those negative opinions people have of us.
The conviction that we develop out of finding ourselves only gets stronger the more we work on ourselves. We discover our wants, our needs, what makes us happy, and what makes us learn. We learn to choose our battles gradually. We realize that not all relationships are meant to be experienced, not all conversations are worth engaging. We become more respectful of our bodies. We become more intentional about where we expend our energy – our precious, limited energy. We learn to complete ourselves using our own resources, our own efforts. When we figure all of this out, there is no more room for giving people discounts in the manner to which they treat us. When we give ourselves the best, we can eliminate all things that threaten our growth.
Self-acceptance is one of the most difficult, yet freeing journeys you can set yourself on. Accepting yourself doesn’t come in pretty flowery maneuvers. It’s a struggle in every way. It is learning a new language and speaking to yourself everyday with your newly learned words.
We all need to show up to ourselves first before we can show up to anyone else.
What other people have to say will mean not a thing because you have grown to learn that you’re a goddess. There’s no time to chase anyone, to beg anyone, to be anyone else but the magical being that you are.
And you know what, the rest of them can figure out how to complement our completeness.