I’m Chinese, but I’ve got naturally blond hair and blue eyes and fair skin, so I guess I don’t look like the typical Asian woman.

But whether you know my ethnicity or not, here are some things you shouldn’t say, and alternative ways to ask someone more about their background.

Are your eyes real?
Well, they’re not glass eyes. Yes, my eyes are real. What you mean to ask is, “Are your eyes naturally blue with yellow flecks in them? Or are you wearing colored contacts?” Even then, is it really your business? Just tell someone their eyes are pretty.

Are you adopted?
I’m not, but why would it matter? I may not have brown hair, brown eyes and tan skin like both my parents, but that doesn’t just mean I’m adopted.

Are you from Beijing?
Are you asking me this just because you can tell I’m Chinese? Not all Chinese people are from Beijing. Just ask me where I’m from instead of assuming I’m from a specific place.

Where are you really from?
I’m really from where I say I’m from. Mind-blowing concept. Why don’t you just believe me? Do you want to know where my parents are from? Maybe you should just ask me what ethnicity I am instead of asking where I’m from. I could be from anywhere in the world, and so could my parents.

You must look like your mom.
You’ve never seen my mom. Do you just assume I’d look like her because you assume she’s Asian and my dad’s Caucasian? Please stop assuming.

Human beings are beautiful because we look different. If you want to know more about someone and why they look unique, just ask them.