In a new interview with Time Magazine’s Motto, former Victoria’s Secret model, Erin Heatherton reveals her tumultuous relationship with the eponymous lingerie brand and why she is taking a stand against the common practice of telling models they need downsize their bodies. We already knew that the models had to go through hell and high water to fit the mold of a Victoria’s Secret angel, but this is the first time we’ve actually heard one of women stand up and emphatically oppose what they’re all about.

Her last Victoria Secret show was in 2013, when she says she was repeatedly told to lose weight and tried everything to attain the body they wanted on the runway. She added, “I was really depressed because I was working so hard and I felt like my body was resisting me,” she says. “And I got to a point where one night I got home from a workout and I remember staring at my food and thinking maybe I should just not eat.”

The breakdown to breakthrough moment in my life has allowed me to become the truest version of myself. In my moment of “failure,” I stood in the face of adversity. I was struggling with my body image and the pressures to fulfill the demands of perfectionism upon me. I am not perfect. Through this struggle, however, I found the strength to love myself. I stood in my power. I thought of one of my favorite quotes, “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a men’s character, give him power” – Abraham Lincoln. I look back on that moment now, and I embrace it. This feeling I once perceived as “failure” was, in truth, a powerful awakening for me to stand behind my purpose in life. I stepped away from hiding behind a fabricated version of myself. I no longer put actions behind my fears and insecurities. I made a choice to redirect my energy to be a catalyst for change. To create a channel for women to become the truest versions of themselves, along with me. (Stay tuned for more…) In the end, if you aren’t being true to yourself, then what the fuck is the point. #rebelwacause #empowerment #womensempowerment#empoweredbyyou

A photo posted by Erin Heatherton (@erinheathertonlegit) on Mar 10, 2016 at 7:46pm PST

And because the pressure became too much to bear, she parted ways with the brand and has tried to find strength in walking away from a job that models would do anything and everything for. She’s now decided to use her voice and platform to be part of the body positivity conversation, and become a catalyst of change. Her Instagram post mentions that she will be creating “a channel for women to become the truest versions of themselves (stay tuned for more).

Kudos to Erin and can’t wait to see what revenge she has cooking to slay the game.