You’ve probably been there, and maybe you plan to be there tonight. You’re at some halfway decent holiday party where it’s BYOB and the appetizers are borderline edible and there’s a more appealing party down the street. But you refuse to leave this one because your crush and hopefully soon-to-be conquest is there, and you’re just lurking around the mistletoe like a lost toddler in a Pottery Barn just to see if you two, you know, accidentally bump lips or do something totally unintentional on your end.
Trying to catch someone under the mistletoe can make for an awkward evening. You have to be aware of their coordinates on the map at all times. What he’s doing, when he’s taking his bathroom breaks, and figuring out how you can catch him in the right place at the right time takes a lot of concentration and strategy. It’s like you’re an undercover agent except more intoxicated and no one would ask to do a movie based off your life.
To demonstrate the 24 stages of what life is like when you’re trying to catch your crush under the mistletoe, we’ve rounded up the best Rihanna GIFs to sum up the best, worst, and most awkward moments of holiday mistletoe stalking. So, let the games begin.
2. You breeze by him with a holiday sangria in hand, making sure he thinks that his light up sweater on your bedroom floor is the furthest thing from your mind.
3. You post up just far enough away from the mistletoe that you don’t look creepy or desperate, and you’re just hoping he’ll catch a glimpse of your sweet clip-on elf ears.
4. You think he’s making eye contact with you but he’s actually watching the television screen behind your head.
5. You finally DO make eye contact with him so you decide to be subtle.
7. But he starts talking to another girl. It’s cool. You don’t care. It’s totally NBD. You’ll just key her car later.
8. Obviously you’re hotter, and, while he’s in the bathroom, you give yourself a pep talk. You run this town.
9. And then that dorky guy tries to casually catch you under the mistletoe.
11. But then you get it together and you’re like “Tonight’s the night you’ve been waiting for your whole life, baby.”
12. Except he grabs some other dude along the way and says, “Hey I wanted to introduce you to…” You zoned out after that.
13. You make up some excuse about your hair catching on fire, and you quickly go to the bathroom to pull yourself together.
14. But then you remember your hotness level and you’re like, eh, I’ve totally got this in the bag
15. So you take a shot, return to your station near the mistletoe, and catch his eye like…
16. You’ve obviously charmed him. He starts walking back towards you… this time, solo. You quietly move discreetly under the mistletoe and you’re just like
17. He strolls up to you and asks you how your night has been and you play it totally cool.
18. And then, oh.. that’s weird. You casually look up to point out that little green leafy thing over your heads.
19. And it would be sinful not to do as the Christmas creators demand, right?
20. He’s all like “Oh, I mean.. yeah. Okay.” And you’re ready for all of your dreams to come true.
21. Except kissing him felt like kissing a manatee that ate a pile of stale rosemary crackers, and you suddenly realize that all of your efforts were for nothing.
24. Get ready boys.