• 
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • Join the riot newsletter
  • Wishlist
RunwayRiot
fashion for all women


  • Shop
    • Clothing
    • Accessories
    • Beauty
    • Editor’s Closet
    • Our Obsessions!
    • Gift Ideas
  • About Runway Riot
  • Fitness
  • News
  • Beauty/Fashion
  • Designers
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • 
Wish
list
  • Shop
    • Clothing
    • Accessories
    • Beauty
    • Editor’s Closet
    • Designers
    • Gift Ideas
    • Our Obsessions!
    • Guilty Pleasures
  • Beauty/Fashion
  • Fitness
  • Self-care
  • Current Obsessions
  • The Latest
  • TBT: This Awful Breast-Shaming Ad for Hair Goo
  • I Tried to Get Kendall Jenner's DVF Runway Hair
  • I've Got Buns and It Makes Shopping a Royal Pain
  • Iskra Lawrence's Holy Grail Hair Product Is This French Dry Shampoo
The 10 Rudest Things a Waxer Has Ever Said to Me
by Mariella Mosthof | August 8, 2014 at 3:26 PM
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • 

After 14 years of underarm, leg, and nani waxing, never having taken a razor to my body, and subjecting myself to the salon groupons of every frank, gruff, no-holds-barred ethnic waxing culture imaginable (sorry, Eastern Europe, I’ve been cheating on you), I’ve received an earful of unsolicited body comments from well-meaning aestheticians with simply no fucks to give. (Other than the fucks they have apparently invested in me finding a nice rich man and getting married.) Here are the top ten rudest things a waxer has ever said to me.

1. “The skin is very loose. How old are you?”
Seventy. I’m seventy years old.

tumblr_mdo3m7r2kp1r2bhrao1_500

2. “You’ve been waxing for how many years? How old are you?”
See previous question.

tumblr_n9jeuoiO4i1qgf1i8o1_250

3. “How old are you?”
WHAT IS SO IMPORTANT ABOUT MY AGE TO THE REMOVAL OF HAIR FROM MY BODY?

downton

4. [in awe] “Your skin is so white.”
Thanks, I have to use SPF 70 or else I wind up in the hospital. 70, like my age.

fffa86b8d27bb3aed48ce07d61b86a4822be6d85_m

5. “Your hair is very long. You should have trimmed.”
Isn’t that your job?

fgwtf

6. “You shouldn’t have trimmed. Now all the hairs will break.”
BUT… Ugh.

Nnqkg

7. “Did you shave between waxes? Why you have no hair here?”
No, lady. Why would I shave JUST my inner calf and then come in for a wax? It’s just that I’ve just been doing this for so long that I have bald spots now. How long have YOU been doing this for?

PageImage-512686-3687499-kanyeeyeroll

8. “Did you go to another salon for your last wax? She did a very bad job. Look at all these ingrown hairs. Who did this?”
You did, and I’ve been your client for the last three years.

rASMXLT

9. “Do you have a boyfriend? Don’t worry, you will after this Brazilian.”
I don’t… What?

tumblr_m58d56wZJ91ry10fwo1_250

10. “Oh you’re going on vacation? This Brazilian will make it a very good time for you.”
Really? Because I’m pretty sure drinking a pina colada on a beach in the middle of the goddamned day without worrying about a hairy labia slipping out of my swimsuit when I inevitably take a drunk tumble in the glaring sun is what will make this vacation a good time for me.

tumblr_n95zzz3MFa1rfduvxo1_400

About the Author

Mariella Mosthof

I Want That!
Charlotte Tilbury
Multi-Miracle Glow Cleanser, Mask & Balm for Baby Soft Skin
You Know You Want Me! + Wishlist
$60.00
Dior
'Backstage Brushes' Travel Brush Set
Gimme! + Wishlist
$95.00
AERIN
AERIN - Suede Ballet Flats - Taupe
Shop now + Wishlist
$247.50
Trina Turk
Off the Shoulder One-Piece Swimsuit
Buy Me + Wishlist
$128.00
Dessy Collection
Convertible Wide Leg Jersey Jumpsuit
Buy Me + Wishlist
$180.00
BLANKNYC
Attention Span Faux Fur Trim Jacket
You Know You Want Me! + Wishlist
$106.80
Passionata by Chantelle
Charmeuse Thong
You Know You Want Me! + Wishlist
$30.00
Stuart Weitzman
Stuart Weitzman - Gilligan (Haze Suede) Women
Shop now + Wishlist
$199.99
Seraphine
'Donatella' Maternity Jacket
You Know You Want Me! + Wishlist
$249.00
Topshop
Ella Floral Off the Shoulder Maternity Top
Gimme! + Wishlist
$68.00
TONY BIANCO
Komma Translucent Heel Sandal
Buy Me + Wishlist
$145.95
Tangle Teezer
Gold Rush Compact Styler
Buy Me + Wishlist
$20.00
19 Female Professional Athletes Who Are Changing The Way We Look At Fashion
November 7, 2017 at 3:12 PM
11 Body Confident Trends for Transitional Wear
November 7, 2017 at 3:05 PM
The Power of 11: How to Align With Your True Self
February 14, 2017 at 12:50 PM
The Best Single Statement Shirts to Wear this Valentine’s Day
February 14, 2017 at 8:33 AM
Couples That Workout Together Stay Together
February 14, 2017 at 2:39 AM
RunwayRiot
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • 
Sitemap
  • Shop
  • About
  • Contact Us
  • All Stories
Join the riot
© 2019 RunwayRiot, LLC - All Rights Reserved.
  • FAQ
  • Terms
  • Privacy Policy
  • Site Design
  1. Mediaite
  2. The Mary Sue
  3. RunwayRiot
  4. LawNewz
  5. Gossip Cop